Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Month End Round-Up
So, I had an awful week. The younger child was sick with the stomach flu and on Thursday night the older one caught the bug. I was feeling bummed out after being sleep deprived from the weekend before with my pre-birthday celebration, staying up all week with the younger child, and now the older child. My trip that was planned months ago with the gentleman friend was in jeopardy. Come hell or high water, I had to go. I needed to get away and step out of my zone. I needed some "me time". So I called up the outlaws and asked them to watch the girls for the weekend. They happily obliged.
Friday night as I was busy packing for my 4:30am road trip you-know-who called. Yes, H.S.S. called. He wanted to see me before I left. I was feeling kind of bummed over our state of affairs throughout the week. A little sour if you will. I really was not up to it but I allowed him to come over on the condition that we weren't going to get busy. He agreed. Also,I was stuffed with the lobster and shrimp with strawberry shortcake that I had wolfed down for dinner. I splurged on the calories because I owed myself a birthday dinner. I worked 12 hours on my birthday so I did not get to celebrate at all that day. So yes, I was feeling too full for vigorous activity.
When he got here I had about 4 hours before I had to start my 2 and a half hour road trip. He had just gotten from work and was famished so he ate. We snuggled up and watched TV together. Of course my horny demon decided to rear its ugly head and I reached over to kiss him. He literally restrained me, telling me that he was going to abide by my original request and just cuddle. I was impressed. The time flew. Before I knew it, it was time for me to hit the road. He walked me out, carrying my overnight bag and wished me a safe trip as he kissed me goodbye and we parted ways.
I did not drive. I flew! My eyes were weary with sleep. I had to literally concentrate on keeping them open. The sun was nowhere in sight at 4:30am so it was really dark out. Fortunately, I bought a shot of 5 Hour Energy to prepare for such an event and I downed it and was on my way.
Got there early, checked in with the relatives to freshen up and take a tinkle, then the gentleman I would be spending the weekend with was there within minutes. It did not feel weird having left the arms of one man, entering the arms of another. He greeted me and was very appropriate with me as we rode down to where we would be staying for the weekend. I rode in luxury, sported in luxury, dined in luxury, partied in luxury, and slept in luxury. The whole weekend was just perfect! We met up with his friends, many of them I might add! I met so many great guys and a few girls as well.
I must mention that while I was with the gentleman, I will call him Mr. Norfolk, H.S.S. called me quite a few times. It was sweet at first when he called to make sure that I reached down safely. He then called me quite a few times after which was not his custom. Times when Mr. Norfolk's voice could be heard in the background, or the crowd in the stadium where we were. Inconvenient times. His voice was not as upbeat as usual. He sounded serious. I am going to assume he may have been a bit jealous. He dared not oppose my trip although he knew I would be hanging with a mixture of men and women. I was prepared with a rebuttal of "you are not my man and we are not together so I can do whatever I please", but fortunately he was smart enough to not let it go down that path.
Anyhow, I got home in one piece, sexless for my birthday weekend, but feeling like I had the biggest orgasm of my life! I came back with renewed vigor, with a certainty. I want love. I deserve to be loved. I want his love. I cannot force him to give it to me, but I will not wait forever. I am giving him until the end of October, which will make one year since we have been intimate again. By then my divorce should also be final. At that point, he should be clear about his intentions with me, and I will be ready by then to move forward in my quest to find someone who wants to be with me. This past weekend helped light that spark in me. Made me see the world above the rim of my glasses. H.S.S. is not the only man on the planet. There are many others out there, I just gotta get out there and meet them.