Monday, May 30, 2011

3 Ruinous Things That Have Killed Dating Etiquette

A FB friend posted a status today that garnered a whopping 102 comments. His status read:

I am at a loss, but where does it state that a man is obliged to give a woman money? Our society is really messed up and I know many a females will see this, read it and think, "He's cheap if he doesn't" But there is no rule or law that says he has to. Our women are being grossly misinformed here.

My lengthy reply was:

Here's the crux of the matter what we wanna tell ourselves, men and women were not created equally...the feminist movement has denigrated womanhood to an extent and men no longer behave like gentlemen because of it. Women are more sexually liberal than times past, more educated, and financially independent, but all that has done has made it ok for *men* to slack off in their duties, shirking certain responsibilities, and regarding women who expect men to take care of them as gold diggers.

Mr X, to your original question: a man should not feel obligated to give a woman money, but if it is a woman worth having and a woman you want to build a life with then money should be no issue. You should want to give her your last dime if it boiled down to that. If he marries her then it is his responsibility to provide for his family. No woman wants to marry a broke ass man and that is a fact. My ex husband is probably hating my guts right now cuz I got the house and the SUV from the divorce. But hey, his kids gotta live somewhere and I have to  have transportation to go to work and shuttle them back and forth so at the end of the day he is taking care of them by taking care of me and that's what it boils down to. But of course there are dumb chickens out there who take advantage of a man who tries to do the right thing and make a bad name for the rest of us.

To surmise, weigh each situation based on its own merit. It is unfair to paint every woman with the same broad brush.

So in the spirit of this very heated discussion, I reflected upon the things in society that caused the breakdown in male-female relationships, particularly how men behave towards women, and broke it down to three contributing factors. They are as follows:

Radical Feminists

Now, we admit that the feminist revolution helped accomplish many things and we are grateful. Gender equality in the workplace, readily available forms of contraception. OK, great! But when you are harping to every man you meet that you are educated, own your own home, and make x amount of money you are just telling him that you don't need him. Men want to be needed. No. Need to be needed. It is part of their insecure masculine nature. Sure you may be doing well for yourself but no need to rub it in his face on the first date.

Also, when you keep harping that women are equal to men and can do anything men can do, and the biggest lie of all: "I don't need no man!", don't be surprised if you end up holding your own door, pulling out your own chair, and paying for your own food.

The Gold Digger

Thanks to the gold digger, most of us women have to "pretend" that money is not an issue. It is an issue. It is not everything but love can't go to the supermarket. Love can't pay bills. Women are now afraid of demanding that their men step up to the plate because they are afraid of appearing like gold diggers. Men use the gold digger as an excuse to avoid taking care of their children because according to them: "she trapped me with a kid and I ain't even sure if it's mine." I am not saying that there aren't groupies who go around and deliberately get pregnant for high profile stars so they could have an 18 year meal ticket, but their MO has the rest of us regular girls walking on eggshells around potential partners because we don't want to seem like we're gold diggers. F-U very much!

Hip Hop/Dancehall

This genre of music is not all bad, but the prevalent message that comes from them is one of a violent sexual nature. There are a plethora of songs likening women to hos and pretty much laud lewd behavior and course language. It's OK to dress like a ho, shake your ass like you're getting paid to, and fuck anyone just to get ahead (even if it means getting ahead in the line outside the club). Karrine Steffans made her living from sucking dicks and yapping about it. She's getting paid to play the part that she and other video vixens portray, and sadly it is spilling off the screen into your homes as your little sisters or daughters watch and emulate Beyonce and others, as they strut around and shake what their mommas gave them.

 In dancehall specifically, there is an increase in references to angry sex. It is now fashionable for a man to liken intercourse to stabbing, beating, tearing, daggering, tumping (thumping), and forcing up one's penis into a female's vagina. This rape culture is becoming too pervasive in our culture, and men expect us to be dutty wining, head top balancing, doggy style posing, stripper heeled wearing, g-string stuffing hoes.

Can you think of any other reason why etiquette and chivalry has gone out the window and why men have become so tight with their wallets?

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