Apparently, he was aware that our communication recently was not going well. He stated that his reason for misinterpreting me a lot lately is because he is simply exhausted and after a couple hours of sleep each night and working for weeks without a break his concentration is not there. He also pointed out some things that I tend to do during our conversation which drives him nuts. The fact that I am stubborn does not help the situation. I am a Taurus and that is our nature. When I have made up my mind about something it is hard for anyone to convince me otherwise. But I suppose from time to time I could concede and let him think he was right for once. I asked him if he noticed that in the past few months I have not been arguing with him, just remaining silent as he would state his point of view. He insisted that it was worse for me to do that because we were supposed to be able to discuss anything like two mature adults, even if we did not see eye to eye. True.
In addition to my obstinate nature, he hates when I am vague with him and dislikes it when I do not open up to him. He tries to make conversation with me whenever he comes over, but I am always the one rushing to take the clothes off. I don't like talking about my parents or my job or my kids or my STBE while I am about to get my groove on. But, he is right. I cooould dedicate some time to getting all the formalities out the way. My friend said to me once that if I wanted him to be more than just a fuck, then I need to stop treating him like one. Well the thing is, sometimes I feel as if we are just fuck buddies. In response, I shut down in order to protect myself from being hurt by the fact that I want him and he does not want to be with me.
So, we discussed how we could communicate with each other better in the future. It was well needed. We have a meeting of the minds but not quite so for the heart. Of course his not wanting to commit to me came up during the course of our conversation. He said that he was having a hard enough time as it was making room for me in his hectic life. If he were to commit to a being in a relationship he would find himself constantly having to apologize to me and having to always make up for disappointing me. He is right. We were supposed to meet up on two occasions prior to this one and so this being the third time he went out of his way to come see me. If he did not make it I would get a serious attitude and probably ignore him for a while. I know. And he knows that too. Imagine being in a relationship where someone was mad at you all the time? Can't blame him at all.
So during our conversation I was massaging him and he returned the sentiment. I rubbed him down with my heated oil and tickled his sensual points with my peacock feather while he gave me some attention where I needed it. Before long he had me on top of him. Not where I wanted to be at that moment for I had other plans for him, but I couldn't resist the urge. All my senses awakened and as he entered my soul, I exited into him as well. We stared into each others eyes as I felt myself just losing control. I think every pore in my body must have been secreting my essence. I was going HAM on his dick and I was dripping in my own sweat to prove it. He noticed and asked me something in regards to my increased moisture, but I was too deep in ecstasy to reply. I fucked him like the world was about to end and I had a climax that rivaled the earthquake in Haiti. That must have been the catastrophic earthquake those Christian nuts predicted because as far as I know that was the only one I know of.
H.S.S. had this bewildered look on his face. Apparently we came in unison. He asked me: "What the hell did you just do?" He said he thought everything was going as it normally did, and had planned on putting me in a few positions before he came. But before he knew it I was having my monster orgasm and according to him he was overwhelmed by the sensations and couldn't help it when he came. He said: "I felt that."
I know he felt it because I felt it too. It's that inexplicable surge of energy that passes between two souls as the make a connection. In this case, a reconnection. Funny enough a portion of my horoscope for that week read:
"This weekend, however, meaningful and quite possibly enlightening connections are favored by the stars. Whether this bond is new or tried and true, it can lead amazing places for you now."
I felt our bond strengthen after our talk. I felt our hearts connect while we made love. I felt our love deepen when he grabbed me after sharing his thoughts, and kissed me hard like it was destined to be our last kiss on earth. Whether this will lead to amazing places for me now, I don't know. All I do know is that he flipped through the channels while I turned over and went to sleep, thinking that despite all that divinity that just occurred between us, he is still not mine.
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