Friday, August 24, 2012

Segment 1 - The Vanilla Experience Pt. 1

I'm still enjoying the steady cocktail of men. I'm relishing in the attention. I am living it up! But ladies and gentlemen, I am sadly in lust with one. He's significantly older than I am but gawd is he swexy!! I mean, I could just smell his cologne and melt!!! And as much as I don't trust him or his intentions it is becoming clear to me, day by day, that he really does like me too. Enough of him for now, let's talk about the vanilla experience.

So last I mentioned, I went out with this very vanilla man who happened to love the chocolate experience. Nothing wrong with that. But homes was too needy. We had a great first date and went out for a second and it turned to shit. Why? He wanted more of me. To see me frequently just because we happened to live in the same town.

He picks me up with roses in hand two nights after our first date. It was a very sweet gesture. At the poetry jam he was trying to snuggle up close to me but, "dude, we been out on one date. I have not gotten to know you like that so back the eff off!!!" was all I was thinking. All the way home he was bitching about how lonely he felt and jealous he felt of all the other men hugging on their boos, and how if he were black it would have been different. He spent 2 hours in my driveway bitching and moaning about never being able to get a good black women because the good attractive ones like myself were too busy working and the ones that had all the time in the world were lazy and expected to be taken care of.

He was just pathetic. All the whining. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. So I tell him I had to go to bed because I had to work in the morning. I lean in to give him a hug and he starts to kiss me. I was like WTH are you doing?!!! I got out of the car and I told him good night. He replied that yeah I should just go and sped off so hard his tires smoked. I peered around the corner to see if he would crash and die but the sorry bastard didn't.

Oh well. I decided that I did not want to do the vanilla thing again. I love my papis. And the Asians are ok too. But no one got me as well as a black man grimey as they are.