Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Resurrection Of A Very Dead Ex

Dead to me that is!

It was a torrid love affair that began when I was very young. I had just finished my first year in college. We met on the net back when chat rooms were just becoming popular. He was much older than I was and he lived in NYC which was a couple hours away from me.

We had a strong connection. He was the person I could rely on. I could talk to him about anything. This guy was not my ideal man looks-wise. I saw beyond that and I thought he was the world! Our sexual vibe was so strong. We would find that when one was thinking of the other, the other would feel it. Yes, he had one of the smallest dicks I had ever been with in my life but the sex was still banging! He had me hollering and we broke his bed a couple times. And ooh he could work that tongue! I also had my first and only threesome experience with him. Don't know how it happened but it did. Yes he was a freak, even wanted to do anal with me but I was not a willing participant. LOL!

Well, our relationship was too good to be true. I found out after snooping around his apartment on one of my visits that he was cheating on me. He had a chat that he left open and it had some very damning conversations in it. After that I did some more snooping and found out that he had been married, news that was not known to me. And the nail in the coffin was three kids for whom he owed back child support. Oh yeah, he told me he was sterile and could not have children - ever! And I was fucking him without protection! You all know I flew to my GYN the first chance I could.

I did not confront him. I fucked him and stewed and he knew something was up. It was not until I was back home, 120 miles away, that I called him and unleashed my wrath on him for lying to me and hiding important facts such as this. I felt like I did not know this man. I met his family, his close friends. I let him into my life. Yet, I knew nothing about him other than the mundane details. I felt hurt and betrayed by his lies.

He had the nerve to turn it around on me, saying that I was not clear about wanting to be with him. Like a fool I tried to show him that I wanted to be with him. I was hanging on to what I thought was my soulmate. He actually severed the ties between us when he took a job out in California. I told him I was gonna come visit him and he told me not to bother. It hurt but at that point I realized that we were not meant to be. It took me a while to bounce back from him but I did -  straight into a marriage with my STBE husband.

Now this nukka has the nerve to shout me on the net and ask me how I am doing as if we were chummy with each other. It's almost as if he thinks I forgot about the shady shit he did. My girlfriend said that was not necessarily so, but more that he was hoping that time had healed my wounds and I had forgiven him. I haven't forgiven shit. I am not crippled by his deceit. I think I am able to have a normal, healthy relationship with a normal, healthy individual, provided that I am feeling normal and healthy...lol! If anything, I should thank him for opening my eyes and making me realize that men can be grimey.  I did not respond to his message and I really don't plan to.

Should I let bygones be bygones and say hi to the pathetic SOB? (Sorry Mama C. You are not a B but your son acts like the son of one!)


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