Friday, April 15, 2011
I am feeling overwhelmed with the balancing act and the constant pressures of adulthood. Twice this week I broke my self-imposed no-drinking-until-the-weekend rule. I had so many things taking place all at once that I just HAD to have a drink to maintain my sanity.
I have to shuttle the kids from point A to B, the same with my mom. Run her errands. Run their errands. Jeopardized my job this week because I had to take some time to take my daughter to the doctor. That was a huge depressor in my week but fortunately I have an understanding boss.
It is the weekend and all I can see is the growing to-do list in front of me. I have to go back to work tonight to do an overnight shift for a call-out. When I get off at 9am I pick up the kids and my mom, go to the bank, go to the store, take little one to dentist, take big one to a birthday party, do my mom's hair, and hopefully if the sun is still out I can get outdoors and do some yard work. All this right before I collapse from exhaustion.
I feel like I am on the verge of having a nervous breakdown, and there is no one here to hold me in their arms and tell me it will all be ok. I haven't called H.S.S. all week, and it's sad because he would be the first person I would call whenever I had a crummy day or week. I am giving us some space right now. It is the weekend so I know he will come seeking me out. But I am too exhausted to even think about sex right now, and that is a huge thing for me because I am always willing and able. LOL!