Monday, April 18, 2011
Saturday night was a wash, literally. We had a bad storm pass through and I was knocked out early so he did not make it over. I didn't call him on Sunday. I pretty much went on about my business as I had promised myself. Then at about 8:30pm my cell rings. It's him. He wants to sleep over. I ask him why tonight (Sunday) of all nights. We both have an early start in the morning and he never spends the night on a Sunday. He said because he just wanted to be with me. So I said "fine, come over". He confirmed that we had a date.
I did not make a big fuss as I usually did when he was coming over. Minimal makeup. Don't care hair. Dressed down clothes. The one thing I did select carefully was my underwear. It wasn't the sexy come hither style I would normally rock but a cute satin and lace set. Oh, I had shaved the night before and didn't even bother with a touch up. LOL!
So he gets here straight from work. He heads straight to the shower and asks me to join him. I declined. When he came out he asked me for a back rub and I was happy to oblige (still fully clothed). He asked me about my week and I remained as vague as possible. He noticed and it obviously agitated him. I slowly began to open up some more and he seemed to relax a bit. We chit chatted about everything and nothing, and for the first time in a long time, I truly felt like my friend was back. We just relaxed and watched my new favorite series (The Borgias) until I decided to turn over and go to sleep. How he did it I don't know, but I was disrobed and doing the deed in no time.
The intimacy between us was different. I do not know how to explain it. It was like a burst of energy was going back and forth between us. An unspoken language. Suddenly, I felt my oxytocin levels rise. I was in sheer bliss. I could not stop smiling. And he saw it in my eyes. Then he could not stop smiling either. When we cuddled afterwards, I had the biggest grin on my face. I laid there with my head on his chest, him with his arms around me, me listening to his heartbeat and feeling as if we were in unison. It felt so perfect. So right. I told him I was going to sleep and he kissed me goodnight. I think that was the first time he's kissed me goodnight. As I drifted in and out of sleep I thought to myself that I could sleep with him beside me for the rest of my life. That is a new feeling for me. I don't like to share my bed. My husband and I had separate bedrooms. I used to imagine smothering him with the pillow when he used to snore. With H.S.S. I find his snore amusing. I find his body next to mine heavenly.
I love the man. And I know the man loves me. I don't know what to make of our future. I think I am enjoying this stage in our relationship right now. The stage where I know that something is in the making, waiting for him to make the next move, and in his own way he has. If he did not want to be with me he would have completely shut down after I told him how I felt, but he didn't. He still wanted to spend time with me. I have faith that what will be, will be. I am enjoying us and our together time. If that is all that is meant to be, then that is all there is all there is to it. But I know that there is a reason that after so many years and so many miles, we still end up with each other. It's almost as if we are on the cusp of coming full circle.