I am not a crybaby. I never cry. I try to. I know it cleanses the soul of whatever burdens are within. But I could never bring myself to tears no matter how hard I tried. No matter what sadness I think of I could never get myself on the verge of expelling hot tears. So what exactly set me off this evening? I don't know what happened.
I think it is a culmination of all the things that have been going on in my life.
Loss of my marriage.
Uncertainty in how my kids will be affected by the changes.
Having disagreements with my mother.
Feeling unloved by my father.
Feeling like an outcast in my family.
Feeling lost and confused.
Feeling like a failure.
*Sigh* This took place for about two minutes before I had to pull myself together and plaster a smile for the kids as I walked through the door.