Have you ever dated someone for a while, or flirted with them for so long, years even, that you tell yourself that "it's time to give them some"? I've had a couple men in my life for many years whom I have been mostly platonic with. Not even a kiss on the lips. But the tension is there. The attraction is there. But neither the drive nor opportunity has presented itself.
I am kinda of the mindset that if you do not want to tear his clothes off the moment you meet him, then the spark probably just isn't there. I am trying to learn how to widen my horizons. Learning to not write off a man just because he does not fit my prototype.
My STBE and I had an immediate attraction to each other. I have no complaints about the sex between us. When we were good, it was great. When I hated him and could not stand his guts, I just laid there and took it like a bitch. He hated when I did that, but could not resist the opportunity to bust a nut.
My H.S. sweetheart and I have had a magnetic attraction since day one. I still have the diary I wrote in during my teenage years and in it I remember writing that I thought he was "foin" and I wanted to "f" him. LOL! After so many years, the incredible attraction is still there. I want to rip his clothes off every time I see him. I secretly salivate and throb in his presence. With him, there has never been a doubt when it comes to giving him some.
Even my married (ex) lover had a similar effect on me. I met him at a cookout with his wife present and I remember there was a lot of conversation between us, and the magnetic energy that was there had even his wife on the edge. She kept coming up to check on him, as if I was going to snatch him up right in front of her. LOL! The first lunch date we had set the pace for many others after that. I just knew I wanted him and I had to have him so I took him. I stopped messing with him after I got married, but since my separation I decided to have a friendly lunch with him. And of course he knew I was weak and took full advantage. Did not have to try too hard to get me in a hotel room.
Now there are other men in my life whom I have known for many years. I know they are attracted to me and I like them too, but I could never get off the launching pad like I did with my STBE husband, my H.S. Sweetheart, and my married (ex) lover (who still calls me by the way!). Some of these men have been there for me during difficult times in my life: offering a sounding board when I needed one, advice when I needed it, and acts of kindness when I was in need. Yet still, I have never been able to go beyond the threshold of platonicism to romanticism.
So what factors do you use to decide when you want to sleep with a man? How do you nudge yourself to look beyond the physical or mental barriers that probably held you back for so long?