I felt compelled to do a follow up to my "Women, Please Take Care of Your Men" post. Men, you do not get off scott free in this. Nuh-uh! It works both ways sweetie. We scratch your back, you scratch ours.
While the Aquarian and I were spending some QT together the other day, he mentioned that his brother had a girlfriend who he worked 3 jobs to put through med school. As soon as she became a doctor she left him. Now anyone on the outside with a dick and two nuts would say what a skeevy bitch she was for doing that.
She Who Feels It Knows
Some can say my husband gave me everything I now have. I own a home, a nice vehicle, I have 2 beautiful kids, and to the outside world it would appear as if I bailed on him as soon as we went through our difficulties. But she who feels it knows. I could argue that I was neglected during my marriage. Not neglected in the sense that he abandoned us and left us for dead. I mean that he did not cater to my needs as his wife, mother of his children, and a woman. Nor did he take an active role in the kids lives, always too busy to pay any of them some attention. Now he cries that he is missing out on their growth and development. GTFOH! Sorry, I digress. The disrespect, the abuse, the disregard for our marriage was too much for me. When I saw my opportunity, I seized it. I ended our relationship. Tongues have been wagging since the first day we separated, but even more now that the final stages of our separation is taking place. I don't really care because as they say, she who feels it knows. And that is why I am not so quick to pass judgment on this person because who knows what she actually went through?
Now Miss Med School may have had other problems which were unknown to the general public. Shoot! I can only imagine getting all dressed up as she did in her sexy lingerie and being ignored. I can relate. Been through similar instances with HSS when he would come over super late and super tired and barely notice the effort I spent getting ready for him. Now I am in no way saying that The Aquarian's brother was not genuinely tired. Working three jobs is a very stressful and demanding thing. But still that does not excuse ongoing neglect of one's significant other. As soon as home girl saw her way out, she left. I am sure lack of gratitude was not the main reason. Maybe it was a feeling of loneliness and rejection.
So guys, please know that this blogger praises the hard working men who try to make a better life for their women and family. But you gotta take the time to show her that she's your one and only. A garden does not grow if it is not watered. Here is how you can take care of your woman even if you are dog tired:
It does not have to be every weekend. But at bare minimum, once a month, schedule a date night. See, us women are very patient and if we have something good to look forward to we are very willing to wait. I personally enjoy waiting to see my SO. It's the anticipation that makes everything so special. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Get Down Even When You're Not Up
My HSS used to tell me that he was so tired that he was afraid he wouldn't be able to get it up. Don't laugh. It is a genuine concern for men. Guys, don't worry if you can't get it up. There are other ways to make us cum. I don't have to spell it out. Your tiredness should be no excuse. Your species is known to be capable of screwing while asleep. Work it out!
It's The Little Things
Keep the romance going. Be affectionate. Send your SO sexts. You know, pics of your dick, video of you wanking, or just plain old dirty talk about what you are gonna do when you next do the nasty. Kiss her whenever you see her. Touch her. Leave a flower among her personal things. Make her feel like you know she's still there and you can't wait until the next time you get to jump in her groin, whenever that may be. They always say it's the little things that count, and in any relationship it is true. If you are cold and distant all the time she will begin to wonder if you are really as tired as you say you are, and if there is someone else that is stealing your affections.
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
And when you do get to giving her some, please bring your A-game. If you are not prepared to show your woman that all her holding out for you was worth it then please dissolve your union ASAP. Make sure that you are well rested and ready to deliver with a force that will have her singing an aria. Me personally, after I've been shown what exactly I was missing all those days, I can go for a week or two without demanding sex. That is my recovery and build-up-anticipation-for-the-next-encounter time. Nothing gets me running as fast as a soft dick does.
The C Word
Sex is not everything but it is very important to the stability of a relationship. At the end of the day it is all about compromise, and both parties will constantly find themselves having to do it in order to maintain peace and stability in the union. When most relationships end it is usually because one party has been doing most of the compromising. Find that balance in your relationship and know when it's your turn to sacrifice.