Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Are You Dickmatized?

Today I flipped through a copy of Sister to Sista. I don't usually read this one but the cover caught my eye. Jill Scott basically claimed that some good dick got her in a bad mess. She was, as she puts it, dickmatized. She also claims that all women have been dickmatized at one point or another in their lives. Do I agree with her? Most definitely.

Here are a few ways to help identify when you have been dickmatized:

1. Your Phone Is Your Frenemy

You constantly keep your phone on you, clutching it tight to your chest as you sleep. Taking it to the bathroom to you when you go do a # 2. Every chirp causes your heart to skip a beat. You feel a sudden rush of endorphins and when you realize it was just junk mail or a text from some lame dude you have been avoiding, your heart sinks deep in your chest. You then feel rage sweep through your body, because you know what you are doing is stupid. You want to throw your phone against the wall, but decide against it just in case you miss his call.

You have been dickmatized.

2. You Neglect Your Loved Ones

You have no down time. New dick will have you constantly shopping for new lingerie, sexy clothes, fuck me shoes. Good dick will have you in the nail shop getting that mani pedi and at the salon getting waxed. You literally live in the hair salon because all that fucking is messing with your 'do. All that primping to get laid is taking away valuable down time you would normally be spending with those closest to you. Not to mention the fact that your houseplants have all died. Oh, they were fake? They still look like they dried up.

You have been dickmatized.

3. You Go Broke For Love Lust

All that primping and clubbing and money spent on hotel rooms do add up. You notice that he has not paid for a meal since the first date. Under the guise of searching for good parking, he lets you go in and purchase the movie tickets and never pays you back for his portion. Let us not forget that he asked you to loan him some money to pay his rent. He said he would have paid you back 2 months ago but every week something new comes up. Your credit cards are maxed out, and so is your patience.

You have been dickmatized.

4. You Can't Talk About Him With Your Girlfriends

Remember when you used to tell your girlfriends that they were fools for putting up with so and so because they were doing so and so? Remember how you called their men every dirty name in the book? And now you can't tell your friends about him because he isn't the Prince Charming you once thought he was? You can't even hang with your girls like you used to because you are so afraid that they will bring him up.

You have been dickmatized.

5. His Redeeming Qualities Aren't As Redeeming As They Once Were

You overlooked his lying to you about how much money he made because you rationalized that he was probably just afraid and wanted to impress you. You say, well, he doesn't own the car wash but at least he has a job! He's a hard worker. He's held down the same job for 5 years. You then find out that he is still mooching off his mama, his side hoes, and now you. You start to catch him lying about everything, even the weather.

You have been dickmatized.

6.  You Go In Stalker Mode

You are on all his social network accounts, browsing his friends and contacts. You're checking his comments on FB. You try to find out when was the last time he logged in. You try to hack into his email. You not only Google him, as you probably did the first night you met him, but you actually pay for a background check. You check his phone when you get the opportunity. You try to go on his ex girlfriend's page. You drive by his house at odd hours. You time him as he leaves work and follow him around town after.

You have been dickmatized.

Don't just leave. Flee! Retreat! According to Jill iin her interview with Sister to Sista:

“Where you get caught up in the whole sexuality of your relationship but it’s not going anywhere… Just somebody giving you the goods but not necessarily giving you the rest-or not expecting the rest from them. What I’ve discovered is, although it may be a lot of fun, it is also a waste of time and you might be blocking your blessing-blocking somebody who wants to be more to you than just a great time in your life.”

I've been dickmatized for a long time, most recently with HSS. I let my love of the dick cause me to overlook some serious flaws in our relationship. If I didn't decide to expand my horizons I would not have met The Aquarian. I don't know if he is the end all, be all, for me but I am enjoying being treated like I want to be treated for once in my life.  My sisters, I charge you all to remove blessing blockers in your life. It is hard but believe me, there is nowhere to go but up when you are down.



  1. LOL, that stalker mode one is hilarious! LOL.

  2. I have been dickmatized recently and after several years I ended the relationship. Sadly all of ways you explained (except for the stalker one) was exactly what I did. Now I've been celibate for 16 months because I'm waiting for someone who is more than a good lay.