Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Some Cream For My Coffee, Please!

So one Friday night a couple months ago, I made plans with a girlfriend to hit the nightclubs. She was booed up with this hunky Polish guy we met in the club for my birthnight celebrations and was taking him. I was not excited to be the third wheel so I went through my phone and called up this vanilla guy I had been talking to for a while. I believe I mentioned the single  date we went out on a few months ago. It so happened that another girlfriend of mine was going out in the same area with this vanilla guy that had been pursuing her. So, all three of us decided to meet up with our dates in the only Jamaican lounge in Downtown. This place is frequented by, you guessed it, Jamaicans. There are usually a few sprinkles of cream there but they cater to a predominantly upscale Hip-Hop, R&B, and Reggae crowd.

So my girl and her Polish dude were already there early. They stuck out like a sore thumb. My date wasn't expected to be there until near closing time. My other friend and her dude got there a little late and the bouncer wouldn't let her guy in because he had a T-shirt on. Yeah right! There were other black men in there dressed in T-shirts. Reverse discrimination anyone? Eventually we were able to butter him up and he let her friend in.

 Finally, my date shows up but he was too afraid to enter the club by himself. [Insert rolling eyes here]. I met him around the corner and walked him in with no problems. Of course the bouncer was giving us the evil eye as we went in. I ordered him a gin and tonic (his favorite) and we chatted for a while. I felt the stares and whispers all around us. Earlier, I ran into a few female friends and I had been chilling with them and dancing with them prior to my date's arrival.  Now, they were not as accommodating as they were earlier. Side glances galore!

So I decided I'd had enough and took my guy and we left. I walked him to the basement garage and we were trying to decide what to do next, but to be truthful, it had been about 6 weeks since I's gotten laid and all I wanted to do was fuck. We started some very serious tonsil hockey. The windows were already fogged up and I was ready. So like a soldier, I never travel without my gear. The condom was out and his cock [white guys love this word apparently] was hard. But for some reason, although he wanted to do it I think he was very uncomfortable with the impromptu sex. He appeared to be startled whenever a car passed. So, he just couldn't maintain an erection long enough to get it in. I guess I can say I went third base with him but didn't make it to the home plate.

I was pissed to say the least! Felt as if I wasted my frikking time! I don't know what I was expecting that night but I know I was at least expecting to get laid. He didn't even dance with me once as he claims he has two left feet. As it is right now I have no desire to be with him, or to see him again. He calls every now and then, but I ignore his calls. I could tell he was uncomfortable in that setting. I did not feel uncomfortable when I was out with him. But to think about it, black folks tend to be a lot less tolerant of interracial dating than white folks are. The way they eyed us (my girlfriends and I along with our dates), I am not so sure if I could handle the judgmental stares on a regular basis. Particularly with someone who is uncomfortable doing things I enjoy doing, like dancing to some Travis Porter. LOL! I think if I were to ever get my swirl on again it would have to be with a man who has a deep appreciation for my heritage, who makes me forget that he is from a different cultural background.  Not a man who makes me feel awkward to be with him in a setting that is familiar to me.


  1. [Inserts a chair the same place you inserted your side eye]---> \_

    Have a SEAT, sir. I can't believe this dude seriously needed you to get him from around the corner. And then on top of that, you copped him a drink? You're better than me, hunny. Lol..!

    Not that I mind treating my date, but I think you treated him enough when you got him from outside the club. I won't say these are reasons to write him off, but as you can see, signs of his reluctance and coyness appeared up until the end of the night. Especially at a time when you needed a "stand-up guy" the most. I mean, you practically gave him the green light and he was still "mellow-yellow", at most. Really though?

    However, I still applaud you for trying something new. I got my swirl on twice before (more or less). The first time, I went in as open-minded as you, but the guy brought me great discomfort throughout the course of the evening. Sad thing is, he was trying to flatter me, however, he did so in a way that kept reminding me that I was Black and he was White (long story). It was because of how terrible that date was, I was actually not the best sport for my next "Vanilla" experience, and felt I went into it half-assed while he was extremely comfortable IN his skin as well as comfortable WITH mine. Oh well.

    Loved the post- very entertaining!


    Sojo, FWB

  2. Well, I didn't pay for it, I just ordered. LOL! But for real though, he did try to find some commonality with me, informing me that he likes Biggie. So do I but my entire musical repertoire is not built around hip hop and rap. I love me some Green Day as much as the next dude does. A friend of mine once told me that his observations as far as interracial dating goes is that one party usually has to give up socializing in their cultural background for the other and nine out of ten times it is the black partner that has to do so. It is obvious that he was not comfortable being around so many black folks which is fine and dandy, but I love who I am so if we can't even do that I don't see a future.

  3. And..I love spontaneous sex....obviously we are not sexually