Thursday, February 3, 2011

Demystifying the Essence of Maleness

I chuckle every time I read the title of this latest entry. Men are so predictable right? We think we have them down to a science. So what exactly is mystifying about them?

My confounding experience with the male species has been exacerbated by recent experiences with my "lovers". I did not make them aware of my newfound celibacy(I am 15 days in :D) so until then I will refer to them as my "lovers".

Double standard

The ex lover has neglected to uphold his part of our deal. It is a rather complicated deal but the end result was that he was supposed to keep my lady parts singing. The fire has gone out. He has not kept his portion of our bargain.

I love sex. I may have said it once or twice here. But I really do. I have no issues with him seeing other women so long as he keeps it safe, respectful, and services me on a regular. I even did not want to take up too much of his bed time so I wanted to diversify my portfolio. But truly, my ulterior motive was to round out the week with getting laid two or three times.

One night after an awesome round of loving I asked him how he would feel about me seeing other people. I was met with stone cold silence and he totally shut down on me. The following morning after I buttered him up with breakfast in bed he decided he wanted to discuss it and gave me this whole spiel about women not being in control during sex and men can take advantage and make coitus unsafe by removing the condom and putting the subdued female, who is incoherent at this point, at risk for pregnancy or infections.

OK, he did have some merit to his argument. Where we digress is that he insists that things would have to change between us. He informed me that his other side piece and even his ex girlfriend were compelled to STD tests periodically. I was the only one he never demanded a test from because he trusted me. But I asked him if he trusted the other girls too, because pity the fool does not know that he is not the only one.

So things kinda changed after we had that talk. He started coming over less and less, but when he did he indicated that he missed me. Once during our lovemaking he told me he loved me and never stopped loving me, but ever since that he has not told me. My texts would go unanswered or replied to with a single emoticon. When I finally decide that I had had enough of his back and forth he texts me to ask me for a favor. Yet, when I had asked him for a favor the week before he never checked in to make sure I was ok even though he could not help me.

Cake men

My married lover has got me baffled as well. Since we started seeing each other again he began to make claims on my vajayjay telling me that he does not want me to see anyone but him. He wants me to be his second wife (any Big Love fans in here?). He wants me to introduce him to my mama so that he could come over on a regular basis. I drew the line right there. Hell no I am not introducing you, a married man of political importance to my mother. He professes his love for me all the time yet still I in my desperation asked him to spot me some cash until my next payday. He offered to "loan" me $50.

I have never asked this man for anything in the decade I have know him yet still he can only LEND me money? Such a small amount at that? I never called him and I never pursued it. He finally called me 2 weeks later to inform me that his dad had a pacemaker put in so he had to fly out on short notice. Why does it take two weeks to tell someone you will not be able to loan them 50 bucks because you have an emergency? Give me a break! These men want to have their cake and eat it too.

Does not compute

I cannot decipher the yo-yo behavior in my men. They tell me they love me, want to be with only me, want me to be with just them, yet still their actions or inactions dictate otherwise. And they say women are confusing? Puh-leeze!

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