Monday, February 28, 2011

Men Today Are More Emotional Than You Might Think

I want to bust out laughing every time I hear these words echo in my head, but in reality I have to take it with a grain of salt. This was what H.S. Sweetheart remarked to me during a conversation we had over the weekend while we were spending time together.

We were engrossed in conversation much longer than we usually do. Under normal circumstances, by a certain point of the evening clothes are usually off and sentences cease to one or two word phrases/commands. He had noticed that I seemed a bit impatient and proceeded to let me know that he enjoys having deep conversations with me. In addition, he informed me that he was not just a piece of meat, but also my friend. I asked him, "what's wrong with being just a piece of meat?" and he gave me a look of horror as if I had said something repulsive. He then asked me if I was serious, to which I replied, "yes".

OK, I admit, I was not serious. I only hate being reminded that we are in this "thing" for more than just sex. Call it being in denial if you please. I just want to learn how to harden my heart in a masculine fashion. Plus, I want to learn how to not fall so deep in love that my feelings and emotions get entangled and I end up leaving myself vulnerable, and invested. Beyonce's "If I Were a Boy" comes to mind as I think of my qualms.

How Men Are Becoming Emotional

We overlook certain hints which gives us insight as to how emotional our men are, and often lump them in a single category. You know, animals (pigs and dogs). I am guilty of it too. I assume that because he is a man he would be content with just having a sexual relationship sans emotions. There are lots of signs which I have missed in the past that I now acknowledge. He may not be crying with you during the Tyler Perry movie but he is just as vulnerable as you are.

Opening Up

Apparently, men do not like it when women remain evasive and aloof with them. Based on what I learned, this is so because men are just learning to open up their true feelings and to not be ashamed of being the sensitive creatures we always knew they were. They see it as a slap in the face when we do not return the sentiment and subliminally accuse them of being effeminate.

Events not Dates

No, he won't remember the first day you guys held hands but he will remember the love letter you wrote him when you were both kids. He will remember the first sexual experience you had. He will remember the one time he saw you slip a guy your number. He will remember more than you give him credit for.

Special Occasions

He may not run out and get you the biggest gift his money could buy but he thinks of you during those times and in his own way he reaches out to you. Part of it is to make you feel special but the other part is due to his own need to feel that he is loved and that you are thinking of him too.

He Wants to Please You

Gone are the days when guys just jumped on you like mounting a beast and "did their business". He is making sure that you get yours first before Mr. Johnson. He is not afraid to do things to you that were traditionally frowned upon. He just wants to make sure that your needs are met in that department and he will not be satisfied if you are not.

Mama's Man

He is not afraid to admit how much he loves his mother. OK, so he may not always have the best relationship with his mom, but his mama ain't goin' in no home!

Bring on the Kids

Whether they are his, yours, both of yours or just in your heads at this point he has no problems letting you know how important family is, and is not afraid to get down and dirty with the little people. If he does not have kids yet, he looks forward to fatherhood and tells you he wants 5 kids but he will settle for 3. He is a doting father and proud too. He is great with your kids and often chides you for not doing something right. You may want to clock him in the head but you let it slide because you are enamored with the fact that he cares so much.

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