So I went out with an old girlfriend of mine on Friday night. It was the first time that I had been out-out in almost a year. Also it is the first time that I have been out-out as a semi-single woman. I usually like to do something laid back and chill at home but it was her birthday so I decided to make the initiative to brave the elements and enjoy the evening with her.
I went with no expectations. I did not even think I was gonna go bar hopping or meet anyone new, let alone contemplate a new sexual tryst. What resulted from the evening was an awakening of my desire to socialize and to meet new people, especially people I do not usually find interesting. I also learnt a few things from the experience, particularly from a dating perspective. Particularly, that if you play your cards right you can have an awesome night. The do's and don'ts are quite simple, and I will go into detail shortly.
My Night in a Nut
Our night began at a Japanese joint. I ordered a couple appetizers and we split a huge Scorpion bowl. It is like a massive margarita with flames on top. Of course our drink got the attention of a couple of men who were sitting next to us who were obviously tipsy. They were gay so there was no chance of any flirting taking place. But we had a nice conversation, and they introduced me to alcohol infused whipped cream. One of them recommended it during love making for heightened sensations. I have yet to try it but it is one of my things to do.
We leave the Japanese joint and head over to this lounge around the corner. It is Jamaican owned but the vibe is infused with a lot of different ethnicities. A huge melting pot if you will. So it is there where I met this interesting man. He was seated at the bar, dining alone. I was seated next to him and my girlfriend on the other end. We both ordered Long Islands and before long we had a little buzz going and were chatting up a storm. The gentleman and I engaged the gentleman in very stimulating conversation. He was much older, probably the same age as my mother (*eek*) and a rolling stone. He is of Nigerian descent, born in China, but works with the U.S. government and stationed wherever they send him. I really enjoyed the time we got to know each other. He bought me and my girlfriend a round of drinks and left shortly after.
It was not too long after that when a white couple from main came in . The conversation first began when I noticed the husband ordering a Red Stripe beer. He told me of his wife and his connection to Jamaica, and that they are always in search of "culture" whenever they travel. Further conversation revealed that the guy was in the same industry as my STBE husband. It is amazing how much common ground you can have with someone who on the outside seems to be totally different from you. Before I knew it the guy was buying me drinks, plus my girlfriend had an acquaintance of hers buying us drinks. I was flat out toasted!
My inhibitions were out the window. I was shaking the booty until some strange guy snatched it up, then I was dropping it like its hot on him. Don't even remember what he looked like but I remember him telling me that he was gonna come back later. He did not get to because shortly after I bounced from that joint and headed straight to the strip club with this couple and my friend. I do not know why, but the way that guy was feeling on my ass at the bar I am pretty sure he wanted to hit it. Unfortunately, I had way too much to drink and too little to eat so as soon as we got to the club I was throwing up in the bathroom. We left shortly after that. I was mad that I didn't get to see at least one tit! The guy was trying to convince us to come back to their hotel suite but his wife was clearly feeling uncomfortable with the idea. I was too even though I was extremely turned on by the idea of a menage-eh-orgy. But it was not my night at all so I opted to leave.
My experience made me aware of what I had "given up" over the past 6 years. I traded socializing and meeting new people for an ungrateful husband and two needy kids. Instead of settling for my husband without seeing what was out there, who's to say that if I had just "worked it" (my charm) like I did this past weekend I would not have met a man who was intelligent, down to earth, and more my speed. I can't say that this awakening makes me want to go out on the town every weekend but I definitely plan to do so more often, say once every month or two. LOL! I know. Gotta start small. But I am still a homebody at heart with all that is said and done. My beautiful, single, childless, and manless girlfriend even told me that night that she envied my home life. The grass is always greener isn't it?
What I Learned
Do be up to speed on current events.
You don't like sports? Too bad! Watch a couple episodes of Sportscenter, PTI, and Around the Horn. You could strike up a great conversation with a sports fan and then discover other common interests. Same with politics.
Do go out with an extremely hot friend.
Don't get your panties in a wad about hanging with a chick who looks hotter than you. This chick will score you free drinks and VIP entry into hot clubs. And anyway, if you are a woman of substance your personality will outshine her beauty by the first few lines of a conversation with a new fella.
Do smile alot.
Your smile is magnetic. Men and women alike will appreciate it and even offer you compliments.
Do be prepared.
Condoms, lube, and sugar free gum. That is all.
Don't Under/Over-Do it
Ease up on the alcohol if you cannot manage it. Sloppy drunks are not appealing. I usually handle my liquor well but I did not eat and that was stupid of me. Eat, drink and be merry!
Don't be a snob.
If someone is hitting on you or wants to dance with you and you don't want them to, still treat them with respect and dignity. Unless he is really grimey then you are allowed to shoo him.
Don't be a ho.
Don't throw yourself on all the guys just because you think you are cute. Even though *you* may look cute *it* does not. Allow the men to see you and appreciate you then work up the nerves to approach you. Also, you never know if his girlfriend may be hanging around the corner just waiting to attack the first heifer who even looks at her man a second too long.
Don't go with any expectations.
If you don't go with preconceived ideas about what kind of night you should have then you won't be disappointed if it does not go according to your expectations. Just live in the moment and allow the night to flow freely.