Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Booty Call With Benefits


In this 21st century there are so many different relationship titles out there. Essentially, it means you're either screwing someone or not at all. Facebook offers a variety of relationship statuses. Single, Married, Engaged, Divorced, and Widowed are the more traditional types. Sometimes we see other statuses that makes us go hmmm such as: It's Complicated, or In an Open Relationship. Would you really put that out there? Why not put it out there that you are a side piece or just a ho? It is humorous at how we attempt to categorize ourselves and add titles to our sexual liaisons. If I had to choose a title for my ideal relationship right now, it would be the booty call with benefits.




Friends with benefits is one loose status to indicate that two people who were friends before have sex with each other from time to time. A fuck buddy is similar except that the two were not friends prior to their sexual relationship, and only function as a means to an end in the bed department. A booty call is somewhere on par with the fuck buddy. Bear in mind that the booty call or fuck buddy relationship is not one in which both partners bare intimate pieces of their soul as they exchange bodily fluids. They do not go out on dates, call each other just to chat, spend the night, or kiss each other good night. They just fuck.

So no, I do not want a booty call or fuck buddy (jump off in Afro American slang). Neither do I want a friend with benefits. I want what my primal urges dictate: sex and I want what my feminine urges dictate: romance.


I mentioned the booty call with benefits in one of my previous posts. This is a relationship where sexual intercourse is the primary function. The benefits would vary from person to person but they include friendship and romance among other things. Sounds like a normal relationship doesn't it? Yes. But the dudes get very scared when they see that a woman is trying to zone in on them and trap them into a committed relationship.

Saying you want a booty call with benefits gives them an extra nudge in your direction. It is more palatable to the masculine ear because booty call indicates unrestricted, uncommitted sex. This works out well for me because I do not want to be in a committed relationship at this time. I still however want to have freaky sex, go out on dates, make out, and enjoy the company of the male species for even a little while.

Is such a relationship really possible? It is in essence an open relationship without the official title. The danger in this type of relationship is that feelings often get developed and one partner typically starts to need more than the other is willing or able to give. I am not afraid of this possibility. I think for my situation, I have a lot of external factors which keep me pragmatic, level headed, and focused. Not to say that the internal turmoil of having someone in your life but not completely having them does not exist. But in this case, I would rather have them sometimes than none at all.

What do you think?


2 comments:

  1. In my experience, I just got divorced after being with the same man for years. we were college sweethearts. At the age of 27 I'm now back wih my HS sweetheart as well.Well... he was the one who should have ben my HS Sweetheart. Anyway, after realizing that he wasn't committed to me we somehow went from being on a break ( in a relationship with no more titles) to being friends with benefits peppered with random dates and him saying I love you when I least expect it.

    The truth is I absolutely hate this arrangement. I keep going back because the sex is great, and I keep hoping that we go back to being together but that he is actually 100% with me this time. I don't have kids wihth my ex so I don't have the distraction to stop the anxiety that comes with knowing that he's telling me he loves before and after he fucks my brains out and then he is spending time with other women as well.

    Great Blog!

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  2. Glad you enjoy it. It is tiring being on this roller coaster isn't it? I guess the hopeless romantic in us hope that love will prevail, but we have to deal with the reality of them never choosing to be with us again. I guess the decision really is how much we are willing to settle for and for how long.

    Glad you enjoy the blog!

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