Monday, June 13, 2011

Kim, Kim, Kim....SMDH!

I love Kim Kardashian. I am not a fan. Fan is the abbreviated version of fanatic. I am no fanatic. But I love her. Not Kim the person, but Kim the figure. I mean, from oblivion comes this chick who is hot, nice ass, nice smile, beautiful hair, and a nice personality. She becomes a household brand, not because she can sing, or dance, or act, but because of that ass. I saw the video with her and Ray J. (I watched it with my STBE and we were less than impressed). But anyway, the girl got her launch into stardom because of a blow job and a few ooh's and ahh's. Now, a porn star she is not. I think she is what my new favorite blogger over at Black Girls Are Easy  would consider a corpse bride coochie. But anyway, she managed to rise above the lame sex tape and catapulted herself into a brand. Kudos Kim, kudos. She even has become a role model to many girls. Even poor Laurence Fishburne's daughter became mesmerized with the Kim hype and thought she could get her career on and popping by doing the porn thing. Poor thing. Daddy's coattails weren't enough to ride on? Poor thing.

So yes, Kim was lucky. Anyhow, I am sure if you been watching TV or seen the tabloids on the newsstands you would have seen the latest news. She got engaged to whatsamacallit...some player. No basketball, Nets I think. Kris Humphries. Yes, Humphries. Now she just met the guy and all of a sudden she is wearing a big stinking rock on her finger and posing for engagement photo shoots. This engagement feels very forced and rushed. Her sisters are either married or have a child, both of which she would like to do and so we have a very hasty union. Even her sisters thought her engagement was a big joke!

So, amidst all this hoopla over the upcoming wedding some football player tells the tabloids about his steamy sexts with Kim. And now Kim is scrambling to save her ass with the threat of a lawsuit. Dude is not backing down and says he has the pics and texts to prove it. Hey, I don't know these people and what took place. I really don't care. Will Kris end up marrying her? Maybe, just to save face. Will they last? More than likely not. Here are five reasons why Kim will never win:

1. The Sex Tape
I hit that!

You have the most beautiful girl in the world, with the nicest ass in the world, and every guy who can sustain an erection for more than 10 minutes has seen her doing the nasty in the comfort of their home. That's a hard image for any guy to erase from their heads. #GOLIMP

2. Mandingo
I like that!

Once you go black, you never go back. especially if he's packing, and Ray-J IS packing and then some! Don't know about Reggie but I can speculate that he probably is too.We all know Kim has a type. Sorry Kris, you are really not her type. Yes, you are an athlete but...

3. Reality TV
I star in that!

Kim makes her living on sharing her life with the world. We all see what reality TV has done to couples. Anybody remember Nick and Jess? And those two were dating for forever! I am waiting for the bomb to dropon Khloe and Lamar's marriage but that would have more to do with the two month courtship than reality TV itself.

4. Her Busy Life
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If I am not mistaken, I think that was one of the reasons why Reggie Bush broke up with her. Just heard on the news that she is trying to make her bi-coastal relationship with Humphries work. Good luck with that sweetie! Athletes love having their wives/girlfriends on separate coasts. 

5. Her Family

There is just something that does not sit right with me. Mainly, her mom. She seems overbearing and meddling. I am not sure if her daughters' spouses are actually fond of her. She is a mama bear but somehow I get the feeling that she makes her daughters feel inadequate. I sense some insecurity in all 3 of the sisters and I bet she is the source. Watch as those insecurities spill over into their relationships. SMH!

What We Can Learn From Kim

Record Then Delete

Me and my STBE used to tape ourselves then we deleted right away. I still have nude pics though but no face pics so I can always deny deny deny!

Good Looks Aren't Everything

Being beautiful and wearing designer clothes won't take you very far. If you've got nothing going for you other than your looks your significant other will eventually get bored and venture out. And judging from that sex tape, it would appear as if she wasn't very exciting in the bedroom either. In addition, she's been known to have gone around in the athletes circle. Tsk tsk!

Keep A Secret!

As soon as she got engaged she was selling the deets to the tabloid about the cost of the ring, wedding plans, etc. I believe she went on George Lopez and revealed that Reggie was packing. This girl will do anything for a quick buck at the detriment of her loved ones it seems.

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