Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Like Sand Through the Hourglass Pt. 2

I arrived at my doctor's office the following morning in pain. The pain was so severe I took a horse tranquilizer before I went in. The pain went from an 8 to 4 on the scale of 10. I reported the pain to the doctor but she focused on the more pressing issue of my vaginal discomfort. My vag had been angry with me for a while. I was prone to BV and always had issues with pH balance. This was especially true whenever I used certain condoms, which was why I always preferred to do it without with one established and trusted partner. My OBGYN asked when was the last time I had sex, I embarrassingly told her the night before. I was treated for BV which I had suspected and sent home. The pain gradually increased and I went and collected my kids and got a sitter because I knew I was not well. I thought the pain was ovulation related. I thought it would pass. But it got worse and worse as the day progressed. I laid in bed writhing with pain. Painkillers, hot water bottle, suffer. Finally later on that evening I decided that something was indeed wrong. I was in so much pain I started to throw up and felt as if my body was going to convulse. I was cold, yet I was sweating. I decided I would have to make the dreaded trip to the ER. I called the Boss Man to see if he was available to take me. He was in a meeting he wouldn't be able to get out of. I told him I would have to call 911 instead. He said "damn it's that bad?" I told him it was.

The ambulance arrived minutes after I called. I didn't even have time to slap my wig on properly. It was a good thing I had worked on combing out the naps beneath as my hair had completely locked due to long neglect over the past few months. Now I was sporting a cute ponytail under so once settled I planned to pull the wig off. I got to the hospital and because I did not appear to be in the excruciating pain I was in I was stuck in a wheelchair and placed in the waiting room  where I was for 2 hours, writhing in pain, unable to sit still in my chair. I began to have a shortness of breath as the pain increased. I felt like I was going to pass out. I wanted to scream out and cry but I was too weak to. I felt myself slipping and signaled the guard to get help. He asked who he was supposed to call. I told him in the loudest voice I could muster that I couldn't breathe. They wheeled me to the back where a nurse was waiting for me. I threw up. They finally got me into a room minutes later when I was asked to strip down. I did so. I was in so much pain I slept on my knees with my butt in the air like a baby. It was the only way I could shift the pain. The doctors woke me up and told me that I would I finally got hooked up to the IV and I was knocked the asterisk out in a matter of seconds. When I came to, I realized that the Boss Man had texted earlier. I responded "hey". He asked if I was good. I told him that I may require surgery and I would let him know. After an ultrasound and CT scan I was given the bad news that my ovary on the right went and committed suicide causing the blood vessels to twist and rupture and I was bleeding internally. I sent the word out to those closest to me, Boss Man included and went into surgery feeling brave more than anything. I was not scared. I just wanted to get on with my life.

I was told that my ovary had twisted due to an enlarged cyst. The cyst was discovered to be a pregnancy that had implanted in my ovary. I had an IUD and it is a known fact that these things can happen with this kind of birth control. It was rare, but it happened, and it happened to me. Thing was now that it hit me, I was in fact pregnant with what would have been the Boss Man's child. What hit me was how I was going to break it to him, or even if I should. My cousin and another girlfriend of mine told me it was right for him to know. I had the choice of staying the following night or going home. I chose to recover at home.

 I called the Boss Man and found out that my cousin had already given him a stern talking to with regards to my convalescence. He picked me up, got me soup, got my meds, and took me home. On the ride over he asked what had happened. I told him it was bigger than both of us. I explained what happened, why I had to do the surgery. He asked me what an ectopic pregnancy was and I explained it to him. I tried to read his expression. He gave off a cool vibe but I knew on the inside he was processing the news as much as I was. Just sa confused about what happened and probably feeling as guilty as hell for contributing to my current state. He did not linger. I thanked him and went inside to greet my worried kids.

After a few phone calls and texts I went into a drug induced sleep. The following morning I woke up to receive some devastating news from my OB GYN that would jeopardize my relationship with the Boss Man.


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