Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Like Sand Through the Hour Glass Pt. 3

That morning I was served a breakfast of hot cereal, tea, and fruit by the nanny. Thank God she was there to watch the kids. I could barely hug them let alone take care of them. Myself, I could. I was built Ford tough so I could brave through my pain and take care of my needs if I had to.
While I was having breakfast, I got a call from my doctor that would kill my already weak appetite.

"Ms. Soandso?"
"This is Dr. Whatshername calling from the OBGYN Office."
"I wanted to follow up with you on some cultures we had sent to the lab."
"Go ahead."
"Ms. Soandso, I am sorry to inform you that the cultures we had analyzed came back inconclusive but we suspect that you may have an STI."
"I'm sorry. I did not want to take any chances so I called in a prescription to your pharmacy so you can pick it up any moment now."
"But I only have unprotected sex with one partner who I highly doubt is that irresponsible. I test regularly and never had anything before. Is it possible that this is a mistake?"
"Ms. Soandso please have your partner tested. It might be possible that he may have had a dormant infection. It is quite common in men. I prescribed you a one dose antibiotic so you should be fine."

She apologized and said that she had to go but I should call with any questions. I was due for another appointment in 2 weeks so I should be cured by then.

How did I feel? Numb. Terrified. Angry.Stupid. Embarrassed especially, that something like that could happen to someone like me. I loved sex, no, I love sex but I made sure I used condoms with the nasty ones and the one man I assumed was more careful about where he planted his pole, I did not. I now look back and realize that it was very stupid of me to have assumed and now I am even more distrusting of men. But then I rationalized that the Boss Man took forever before he trusted me enough to not use condoms. But still, he could have done that with any other ho and a slick one may have fooled him enough and given him something. My thoughts were running away with me. I felt like it was just too much. I had so many wild thoughts going through my head. Like how my health was jeopardized. No, I did not want any more kids, but I don't want my tubes, or what's left of them, trashed either. Then speaking of jeopardized, this was sure to jeopardize the already precarious relationship I had with the Boss Man. I knew what my standing was. I tested every 6 months and the last test was clean. I only slept with him raw, anyone else would be have to be strapped. But then, I had to think back about the man I borrowed. We used a condom but he did go down on me. Oh my God! I had phone calls to make. Difficult ones. I did not want to but I had to do the right thing though. I picked up the phone and called the borrowed one (SJ). I did not get him but left a message telling him to call me back as early as possible.

I called my cousin and confided in her. She told me I had to tell the Boss Man. I knew I had to. The thing was how. She said it was one of two things. It could possibly end our relationship or bring us closer together. I did not place the odds on us coming closer together. Men usually flee out of fear. I took her advice and told myself to prepare for the worse. I did. I planned to have him pick up my Rx, bring it to me, and trap him in my room as I demand answers.

I called him at work and ask him to collect my prescription when he left. He agreed. He did not even call to let me know he was coming. He just knocked on the door. I told him to come inside and he explained that his vehicle was running. I told him to shut it off because I needed to talk to him. He said he could not stay because he had to take care of some business. I told him to come with me to my room. He was puzzled. The kids were home. I would never take him into my room when the kids are there. I shut the door behind him and told him to take a seat in the chair I positioned right beside my bed, facing me. He was even more puzzled. I then took the pills from him and studied the instructions for a brief moment then looked him square in the face and asked him, "Are you sleeping with anyone else?"

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