Monday, October 29, 2012

The Vanilla Experience - Pt 2

A few weeks after The Hombre and I had broken it off I joined a premium dating site. Things were slow for a while but then I met a few men there. I went out with 3 Vanilla men after joining that site. All of them were just, wrong. I already told you about one pathetic dude. I went out with 2 more after him.

One of them, he was Jewish, was pretty young. And when I say young I mean my age but maybe ten years younger in maturity. I look back and wonder why the hell I went out with him in the first place. Oh yeah, I was sorry for him.

He was a pretty nice guy. Too nice. He was the kind of guy who you could walk all over easily and smile because of such. I met him right around the time that I was preparing to launch my business. He would constantly seek my approval from the way he was dressed to the way he wore his facial hair.

So after him pleading with me for weeks I finally agreed to meet him at this Mexican restaurant. The conversation was awkward, but I rode through it and made the best of it. Then it so happens that I had my party and was down in the dumps so I did not speak to him for days. When I finally responded to his message, he writes me back to say that he did not like how I ignored him and took that long to get back to him. Right then and there I nipped it in the bud. I explained to him that I was not obligated to him and I had a lot of things on my plate. I told him at that point that I was not interested in seeing him and if he could not just be a friend then he needed to stop all communication with me and move on. He did. And so did I.

Meanwhile, there was another Vanilla dude lurking in the background. He lives in the same town as I do and for that reason I never gave him the time of day. My girl begged me to go out with him. "White is right!" she said. She was also seeing a white guy who treats her like gold, but she was not attracted to him and so she remained platonic with him. I explained to her that I could not do that - string a guy along who I know I was not attracted to on some level. But anyway, we were both tired of the shit we were getting from the brothers so I reluctantly agreed to go out on a date with him. We went out the Saturday night after my birthday. We caught a late night movie, which was very good, but very tense as he revealed something important to me on the way there.

I had known before hand that he had kids. I actually prefer dating single fathers because they understand that the kids come first, and they won't pressure em to have anymore kids. I knew the boys lived with him, but I thought he had joint custody with the mom. So I asked him that night where the kids were. He said they were home and then I asked who was watching them. That was when he told me the dreadful. He claimed that he wanted to tell me after we got to know each other better and did not think it would come up so soon, but the kids mother lived with him.

"What do you mean she lives with you???"

He explained that the mother was out of work and in school, and was living with her parents. Her father happened to be bi-polar, and so out of concern for his kids and ease of convenience he decided to have her stay there until she got back on her feet.

"When exactly will that be?"

He did not know. I was blown away. How the hell could he leave out something as important as that and hope it came up after we got to know each other? Who the hell did he think he was messing with? I was determined to enjoy the movie. As to whether or not I would see him again, that was very uncertain. We watched the movie in awkward silence. He dropped me off and did not so much as give me a hug or watch me go inside. The following day he texted that he wanted to see me again and he would like a picture. What I was thinking, I don't know, but I sent him a photo of me and two other girlfriends from my birthday dinner. I did not want him to have one of just me. He was impressed and expressed such sentiments. I did not engage in anymore conversation with him after that.

Two days after I got a call from the same girlfriend who encouraged me to go out with him. Miss White is Frikking Right! LOL! She asked me if his name was...Eric. I said yes. She asked if he had two boys, one named so and so around such and such age. "Yes....where is this going?"

"OMG!! I know him!!"


She explained that she used to work with his girlfriend/ex/whatever...and all of a sudden this chick is hitting her up on FB saying they need to get together and go for a drink. BTW, to my understanding this girl never drinks or parties. And she never hits my girl up on FB so it was just tooo coincidental that as soon as I start going out with her babyfather she hits my girl up. How did she make the connection? She must have been snooping through his phone and saw the photo. So what to do? My girl and I both agreed that I should leave well enough alone and end it. Whether he was with her or not wasn't the issue. The issue was that she was still obviously jealous of him and I did not want to get into any love triangle.

So I called him and asked him to meet up at a Starbucks nearby. Public places were my friend for these kind of situations. So I explained to him that I thought it over and I was not comfortable seeing him under the current circumstances. He remained resolute that he and his kids mother were not together romantically and it wouldn't be an issue. He was saying the same thing over and over when I had to drop the bomb on him even though my girlfriend begged him not to. After asking him if she checks his phone which he vehemently denied, I let him know what I found out. He was shocked and angry. I told him I did not want to cause trouble in his home but I just wanted him to know and understand why I don't want to see him. It ended with both of us going our separate ways. I saw him once after that at the gas station. The conversation was awkward, at least on his end. He looked hella uncomfortable.

So after all that mess, I decided to close my online accounts and do away with online dating. I had grown tired of all the retards I was picking up. But before I closed them I had managed to make contact with a man whom I kept at bay. I only spoke to him whenever he called. Texted whenever he texted. He would beg me to keep in touch with him more but I let him know that I was not going to pursue any man and if he wanted me he needed to come after me. He did. The same day before I went out on that movie date with Eric, he called me and basically helped pull me out of my depression. My interest in him was suddenly piqued after I was done Vanilla dating.

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