Homegirl is WINNING!!! Winning what exactly? Respect,
admiration, and favor from the Boss Man. So this man and I have gotten closer in the past few weeks. Much closer. Shortly after Thanksgiving, he
entrusted me with the responsibility of coordinating a community event for the holidays. I was flattered that he had considered me for the job and
determined that this was an opportunity to showcase my talents as a super
organized multitasker and event planner.
I was already used to planning small events in my circle, but
never such as large scale. I drafted
letters soliciting donations from various businesses and thanks to my effective
persuasive writing, I pulled in thousands for our event. I was also able to secure entertainment of
all kinds. I checked in with him, the Boss Man, on a daily basis, updating him
on my progress and just happened to get a lot of one on one time with him as a
result. We spent hours running errands together, making purchases and preparing for the big event.
Finally the day came where all my hard work would be
revealed, and the result would be happy patrons, staff, and a happier Boss Man.
The night after the event, we were doing some errands together, and he let me know then that he was very pleased with my work and told me that I did a very nice job
and that he was pleasantly surprised. He even went as far as making a public acknowledgement
of his gratitude in the cybersphere, referring to me as “tireless”. A testament to my hardworking character. He also promised to take me shopping for a new
phone as soon as time allowed, as my phone is currently on life support with
its cracked screen and general wear and tear.
So, he says to me that I have become very useful and started
making plans for us next year. I cut him off right there and tell him that I did not know
about any next year. He playfully replied that he would simply find a replacement
since I already laid out the foundation. We both knew that I was bullshitting
about next year, and he was bullshitting about finding a replacement. After all this, I am beginning to see that we
really do work well together. I compliment him in areas he is lacking, and vice
versa. He calls me whenever he wants an opinion or just needs to vent. He’s been around the kids a lot more than
before, in a VERY platonic manner of course, and it is kinda cute to see that
awkward look on his face when he gets bombarded by little girls. Above all, we
just vibe naturally. I feel a genuine friendship mixed with a strong
attraction. I feel myself liking him more than I should. I know that I could never fully have
him. He is a community man. He is so preoccupied with giving to the
community and putting on events that he can easily neglect those closest to
him. I know that no matter how close we
become, or even if we were to become an official couple, I will never be first
on his list of priorities. I know I could never truly be happy with him.
So now I am stuck with the decision of whether or not I want
to continue like this with him. I feel myself wanting to withdraw. I want some
time to pass between us before our next conversation so that when we do speak
again, it would be like speaking to an acquaintance. But I know that this will
not happen. I feel like somewhere, I have cemented myself in his thoughts, and
maybe even his heart. It is evident in the way he looks at me, speaks to me, touches me, and calls me boo. I am lost.
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